Tuesday, June 5th, 2007...8:28 am
Game Commission Woos Sutherland
HARRISBURG, PA — In a move as bold as it is seemingly bizarre, the Pennsylvania Game Commission announced today that non-other than actor Keifer Sutherland is being actively courted to play a key role in undercover operations against poachers and game violators in the state. Sutherland plays counter-terrorism agent Jack Bauer on Fox Network’s hit show 24, an action-thriller television series depicting the operations of a federal counter terrorism agency. On the show Sutherland is known for his savvy and ruthless approach to counter-terrorism operations. Now, with an unspecified job offer recently sent to Sutherland’s agent by the Commission, it would appear undercover conservation operations in Pennsylvania’s might be taking a stark new turn.
The move follows a black eye the commission received back in March after reports of rampant bear and deer poachings in Perry County. Incidents poaching and game violations appear to be on the rise and many have charged that the Game Commission is either unable or unwilling to do anything about it.
“Not so,” says Game Commission Press Secretary Jerry Pleaser. “Game violations of any type—no matter how small—makes us really, really mad. Having Jack Bauer on our team could change all that. We see this as a unique opportunity to end poaching in Pennsylvania once and for all.
Pleaser says the Game Commission hopes to use Sutherland’s secret-agent skills to nab would be poachers and game law violators “before news of the event would ever have a chance to hit the news.” The use of undercover wildlife enforcement agents is not a new concept. US Fish and Wildlife Service used an undercover agent to thwart the widely publicized case of the Japanese butterfly smuggler.
“If you’ve ever seen Jack Bauer in action, you’ll know that poachers and game law violators will suffer grave consequences,” says Pleaser. “His interrogation techniques are down right scary. I hear they are so effective, even the U.S. military and the CIA is using them in Iraq.”
Pleaser noted that as an undercover WCO, Sutherland would have an unspecified operating budget and a complete arsenal of super-secret gadgets at his disposal to help fight acts of poaching that seem to be on the rise in the state.
“Bauer will have all sorts of neat gadgets to store in his ‘Bauer Bag‘”, said Pleaser.
“Bauer will have access to a robotic deer decoy, night-vision goggles, a fully functional sidearm. And we will try to get one of those really cool mobile phones that seem to work anywhere, just like on the show. The Game Commission won’t be able to compensate Bauer like the Fox Network. But we are hoping he will at least consider our offer. We have already begun looking into license fee hikes as an option to help cover his salary expense”.
To further strengthen the counter poaching operation, the Game Commission is considering making a similar offer to actress Mary Lynn Rajskub who plays CTU Senior Analyst/computer guru Chloe O’Brian on the series.
” Without Rajskub’s back-end tech support”, said Pleaser, “Sutherland would screwed”.
When asked if Pleaser realized that Sutherland was merely playing a character on a television show and that he was not an actual CTU agent, Pleaser responded that was “classified information.”

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